dinsdag 30 november 2010



I hate the way you smile when you thing you’re right.
Stand up straight
Do your trick
Turn on the stars
Jupiter shines so bright when you’re around
You tell me to slow down,
That I need to grow
The speed’s the key
But it appears you don’t know who I am 
Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate. Is an intelligent human being likely to be much more than a large-scale manufacturer of misunderstanding?..


I’ve been asked for a fotoshoot in Paris. This of course is quite cool, but the thing is that it is the entire weekend before the day of the mathematics test. Mathematics is like the most difficult subject in school for me.. I have not much troubles with other subjects, but mathematics always takes me lots and lots of time & effort. I didn’t start learning on the test yet.. Both are in two weeks, I could either say tomorrow that I’m going to Paris and try to do as much as possible on maths (while I also have A LOT of other tests going on) or don’t go to Paris and study wisely on my maths.
What should I do? :(
Picture of an earlier vintage shoot

Sandra Backlund

“Sandra Backlund started her label in 2004 after graduating from a design course in Sweden. Since then she has marketed herself well; her Facebook page has over a thousand fans, and other supporters have started a separate Sandra Backlund Facebook group. She has participated in museum exhibitions on design and has either been nominated for and/or won a design award nearly every year since 2005. She has collaborated with other designers including Louis Vuittion and she is even a proud feature on the Swedish tourism site.
Love it, hate it, or completely don’t understand it, Backlund has found a demand for her knits. They may not be the most practical, functional designs, but her style excites and mesmerizes nonetheless. No matter how much other designers change and reinvent their labels season after season, one knows what to expect from Sandra Backlund. That’s not to say that her work has become utterly predictable, it’s more that buyers will know who to go to when they want sculptured large-scale knits. Though dependability may seem a bit conventional, it itself works as advertising and will keep your customers coming back for more.”

My uncle Herbert

As promised, I’ll blog the story about my uncle.
He’s the sweetest spacyest guy ever.
He, my mom and my ant had a troubled youth.
Their mom, my grandmother, died when they were kids, and their dad left them cause he couldnt handle it. All of them grew up as rebels, and all took wrong paths. Only my mom turned out safe and normal, because she met my father. My ant turned into a sort of witch, and still fills her days with runes, spells and more.
My uncle is also drawn to that side, but in a cool way.
He attends LARP days (Life Action Role Play). He and his group of friends dress up like characters from lord of the Rings, like Orcs and Elves, and play parts of stories, with actual fights and stuff.
I’ll show vids.

It’s really geeky, but in a cool way.
I’d love to dress up too, and go along with him sometime!
The LARP players invest a lot of money in this.
My uncle has original swords, outfits and objects from the Lord of the Rings.
Unfortunately, a few months ago, it turned out he wasn’t doing very well.
He always came to our birthdays, but never wanted someone to come to his place.
He always said it was kind of a mess, and he didnt feel like cleaning everything up because he didn’t have the time. We should have known something was up, because we suddenly received a phonecall.
He had tried to commit suicide.
Luckily, he failed to do so, and he ended up in a clinic.
We went to his house, and witnessed one enormous pile of garbage. Everywhere.
Everything was covered in garbage, greece, flies.
Curtains closed, cats sneeking around, it was disgusting.
We could imagine someone being deeply depressed, by living in something like this. We discovered he never learned how to clean.
So, we threw everything out, cleaned everything up. Bought him a lot of new stuff, new clean clothes, plates, glasses, curtains, sheets.. And made him a nice clean home for when he would come back.
We saved some of his things that were really valuable, like bows and arrows from LOTR, fur viking hats, swords and shields.
He was devastated when he heard a lot of his things were gone. But my mom got mad at him, and told him that everything would have been gone if he had succeeded.
Nowadays he’s doing very good. He cleans up his own place, and still attends his beloved LARP days, the fantasy fairs, and his weekly bowshooting lessons.
I love his crazyness.
He invited us for the first time in 25 years to his birthday.
We arrived with bags full of presents in his new place.
He already collected new stuff, and filled the room with them.
We felt like walking into the mid-ages.
Candles, torches, chandeleers, handmade stone potts, swords, horns, arrows, flutes, fur and wood everywhere. And the room was filled with his friends from LARP. They looked all so awesome.
I wanted to make pictures, but was a little scared of them.
I decided to draw them and scan it. And made one secretly.
He taught me how to hold a bow, and eventually invited me to join him on one of his matches.
He’s so funny and sweet. I don’t know what I would have done if anything had happened to him.
The frame i’m holding in one of the pictures is a collection of my sisters and me.
He was kind of uncomfortable, since he hadn’t thrown a party in forever.
He kept asking everyone if they were enjoying theirselves, and kept telling us to grap anything we wanted from the food and drinks that were on the table.
But I could tell he was really enjoying himself, and so were all of us.
I wanted to take pictures of everyone there, but I was a little imtimitaded by their weirdness.
Maybe next time.
I did get some off his facebook though.
My uncle and his friends.
My aunt and nieces are also in these pictures, though I haven’t seen them since I was 6. My mom always fought with her sister, and about 15 years ago they broke contact.
But these are my relatives… great!  lol

Ordinary Schoolday.

I seriously hate my school.
I hate the crappy lessons, I hate the talentless students on it.
I hate the fact that I’m officially still on this school.
I’m surrounded by geeks. And don’t get me wrong, I love geeks.
But these are geeks in the non cool way.
Geeks that pull faces like they have to take a dumb, when they’re trying to focuss.
Look at it. Like what is that?
Dork @ School
Luckily i’m almost out of here.
I’m working on some last things, and signing up for some trips.
The only fun thing about this place are the get-a-way’s students my age organise themselves.
I’m signing up for a week of Rome in Januari.
I’ll be in a group of some rare cool people in this place, so it should be fun.
And even if it isnt, i’ll entertain myself with my camera and the sights.
Last night I went to Ty’s house, and met his parents.
His house is beautifull. His room has one ‘wall’ intirely of glass.
We turned off the lights, and let the outdoor lights fill the room.
The CD Explosions in the Sky was the perfect background music to a night in where we were alone in our own world. I’m looking forward to friday so much. We already talked and laughed about the fact that we can’t imagine ever leaving that hotelroom.
This afternoon, my Raanya is coming over. She’s spending a few nights with me at my parents place. We have some catching up to do, and cheer eachother up a little. She knew Vincent aswell, and we haven’t really talked about it since the accident. Lots of tea, candles, blanckets, movies and chocolate will surely help.
The funeral is the fifteenth of December, and we’re both going to attend it.
I’m going to ask my sisters to come dine at mom and dads tonight. I haven’t seen them in a while, and miss them a lot. I really have to find a way to see my intire family more. I only see them at bithdays or holidays, but I always miss them between those times. They’re awesome, all of them.
My sister’s wedding (me at the left)

maandag 29 november 2010

I Love Snow!

Bildersteeg (popleralley) in Dordrecht, closy to my parents house.
I love the way everything turns white. All one colour, like paper sheets waiting to be written on. I love the way it glitters, and the way it cracks underneath my boots.
Kids are lines up in groops aside of the roads with handsfull of snow, waiting for cars to pass so they can throw the snowballs at them. Their cheeks cold and red, dripping noses, but a smile from ear to ear. It’s funny how something like snow turns everyone into a kid. I even saw a businessman walking on the snowy streets today, getting down, making a snowball, and throwing it at a group of kids, who immidiately tried to get back at the man, while he clumbsy ran away, laughing.
Snow in Dordrecht

Its like being home is extra nice, warm drinks are extra good, and everything just turns brighter as the days grow darker and colder.
I have so much to blog, so much to talk about, but my time is filled up with everything else. I don’t thing my days have been this busy and fun in months. Yesterday I went to the cinema with Tayfun, which was again amazing. I feel like we really connect, and he cheers me up a lot. Today I went to school, to finish some stuff. I’m almost out of there, only one movie to go. After that I went to Utrecht, to hang out with the most awesome person ever. Yeah Marit, its you. It’s weird how we don’t need anyhting besides ourselves to have a great time. I hadn’t laughed till my stomach hurt in a long time.
I’ll write down everything in details later, including my uncle’s birthday adventure.
But now I have to shower and get myself ready for another night out with my Ty.
He’s getting a personal snowball attack.  (:
Poor horses in snowy Dordrecht

zondag 28 november 2010

Life is what you make of it

The power to succeed or fail is yours alone.
You alone have the responsibility to shape your life. 
Nothing an no one can deny you greatness once you understand this.
There’s no one to stop you but yourself.
No one can cheat you out of ultimate succes but you.
More powerfull then all the success slogans ever written, is the realisation that everyone has but one boss.
That boss is you.
Picture yourself vividly as winning and that alone will contribute immeasurably to success.

Today's Outfit

Shirt Tommy Hilfiger, Skirt H&M, Legging H&M, Boots Zara, Bag Prada